


five times someone said Wardo

by ooka



Category: The Social Network (2010)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ooka/pseuds/ooka
Summary: Dustin sends out a new round of Don’t mention he-who-must-not-be-named emails again after the “Intern Incident” part 2.  One smart ass says,  "who?  Voldemort?"  Dustin hacks the network and makes the man’s entire screen light up with I AM WORM TAIL BETRAYER OF THE POTTERS,  scrolling in size 72 font.Chris congratulates him later.  He had never liked that lawyer anyway.





	five times someone said Wardo

**Author's Note:**

> yes. this is that old thing if you guys remember TSN at all.

1.

The day legal comes down and talks to Mark about the fact that Mark (and Facebook) is being sued by Eduardo Saverin, is the first time it ever happens.

Macie, who is one of the many blond and perky interns that Sean made sure to have a hand in hiring, replaces Mark’s coffee mug with a fresh one, and when he nods absentmindedly at her, she says, “I’m sorry that Wardo is suing you.”

He stops reaching for the mug, and turns to look at her.  “You have no right to call him that,” he states bluntly.  “Go away.”

She places a hand in the crook of his elbow and lowers her voice and adds, “I’m really, _really_ , sorry about Wardo.”  She aligns her body closer to his and smiles sweetly at him. 

Mark, who is more prone to bland and cruel comments than outburst, simply states, “Get away from me, or I’ll call security and have them throw you out.”  And then wrenches his arm out of her grip, pink polished grip.

She jerks away, and stills for a moment, before she takes off running out of the office.  A hush settles over the office, and Chris, who has been watching the entire time, asks, “You okay Mark?”

Mark’s gaze is unfocused as he stares out the window for a moment, looking for something that isn’t there.  And Chris was a betting man (and he isn’t not when it comes to Mark), he’s looking for something that hasn’t been there for months.  Someone actually.

He doesn’t respond, and Chris moves from his seat Mark’s office.  “Mark,” he repeats, carefully placing himself in his friend’s line of sight.  “Hey, Mark.”

Mark blinks, “Yeah?”

“You okay?” Chris queries, moving carefully as to not startle Mark.

“Yeah,” Mark faintly states.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Chris doesn’t have the heart to call him on his lie, so he lets Mark be, and goes back to his desk to IM Dustin about spreading the word that saying the name _Wardo_ anywhere near Mark is the equivalent of lighting dynamite and standing in the center of the explosion.

 

2.

An intern mouths the word, _Wardo_ , like it explains Mark’s increasingly insane standards of work for them.  Dustin will admit, he’s being harsh, but Mark’s in the middle of two lawsuits right now, so the pressure is easily explained away.  And they are being pussies about it.  He’s done more code in at least five hours less time it takes that particular intern.

However, Mark sees him,

“Get out,” Mark says.

“What?” the intern jumps.  “Why?”

“Because,” Mark states lowly.  “You don’t get to even mouth that name.”

Chris brusts in the doors to smooth some feathers, but the moronic intern ends up leaving in tears and Mark looks pissed for days.  

 

3.

Dustin sends out a new round of _Don’t mention he-who-must-not-be-named_ emails again after the “Intern Incident” part 2.  One smart ass says,  "who?  Voldemort?"  Dustin hacks the network and makes the man’s entire screen light up with I AM WORM TAIL BETRAYER OF THE POTTERS,  scrolling in size 72 font.

Chris congratulates him later.  He had never liked that lawyer anyway.

 

4.

Of course, Chris would later bemoan to Dustin, Sean wouldn’t get the note.

("Fuck that," Dustin would reply.  "I made sure not to send it to him in the first place."

Chris would stare at him, mouth ajar.   "You hate me, don’t you?  Oh God, you _do_."

"No," Dustin would reply, after taking a sip of his beer.  "I just really hate Sean."

It was a familiar conversation.)

After the lawsuit ends with a settlement, Sean waltzes into the office, frown on his lips, and say, “You are kidding me, right?  Why did we give Wardo, so much money?  That spoiled little brat doesn’t deserve a single fucking cent of our money.”

Mark’s face grows blanker, and he doesn’t move as Sean continues through his rant.  He details many of Eduardo’s character flaws,  _he never cared enough_ and any issue he every had with him, _his hair_ until Mark finally snaps and hisses, “You never knew him.”

Sean laughs, “I knew him well enough.  Wardo’s a money grubbing asshole who used you for your money.”

“No,” Mark returns, sharper.  “You are.  What have you ever contributed to this company besides scandals?”

“Hey,” Sean bites back.  “I got you investors.  I got you _Peter_.”

“And Peter,” Mark’s lips tilt.  “Peter wants you out.  And so do I.”

“You can’t fire me!” Sean screams, real fear showing in his eyes.  “I’m the President.”

Mark smiles tightly.  “I’m the CEO, _bitch_.”

 

5.

Chris watches as Mark picks up the phone and mouths a quiet, “Hello?”

There is a short pause before he says, “Wardo?”

Chris taps Dustin shoulder and gestures towards outside.  Dustin flicks his eyes in Mark’s direction before grinning madly.  “I told you the audio recorder would be useful.”

“Shut up, Dustin.”  Chris replies fondly.

“Just call me King of the Geniuses’, and I will,” Dustin counters, grabbing his equipment.

Chris rolls his eyes, “How about you pack up before Mark starts with phone sex.”  Dustin’s looks revolted, and Chris adds, “Drinks.”

“First rounds on you,” Dustin warns, and Chris says okay, and they both watch for a moment as a slow smile spread across Mark’s face.

“God,” Dustin groans.  “This is too sappy for me.”

“Beer?”

“After that?  I need tequila.”


End file.
